TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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