I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
