Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
