is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize