nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
