i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
