He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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