I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bring me that man meat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
