I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
