You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
