I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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