last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
