i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
