and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love you.
Bad choice
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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