Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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