I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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