So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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