Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got inside last night via doggy door
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
