we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
