They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
