just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
