I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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