Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
