he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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