Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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