I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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