Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
