Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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