Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
