If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
