Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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