I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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