Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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