I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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