Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Someone signed my nipple.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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