Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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