you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
