3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
