Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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