you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
