if you like me you must not know who I am
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pappa wants mamma naked
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
