i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize