i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
