sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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