im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
