How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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