when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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