I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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