i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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