i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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