Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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