a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
