4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
