ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
