It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
