i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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