at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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