i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
