you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
why is half of my head shaved?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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