PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
