I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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