Barsexuality is the new black.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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