Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
